Sad Tapas

What up, sad and hungry peoples? I am back and livin’ large on unemployment insurance and tax refunds, so we’re gonna be high rollin’ on this one right here! Nah, just kidding, I have a recipe that costs about a dollar to make. Like, really- one (1) dollar. The part of it that can rack up the dollar bill$ is what you choose to do with it once my barely necessary writing is done and your taste and style kick in. Without further ado, I present the hearty and heavily customizable Bagel French Toast. 

Ingredients: 

Day-Old Bagel, best if it’s Everything

Egg

Butter

Not every place you go to will have day-old bagels, but it’s worthwhile if you can find them. They’re usually in some forgotten corner of your local bagelteque in a clear trashbag and cost 4 to a dollar. French Toast started as a way to find use in stale bread, so let’s keep with our cheese-eating-surrender-monkey forebears and do the tradition honor. 

First off, slice your bagel so that you have both sides showing the inner bread. The crust makes it more difficult to work with when egg absorption time comes around. I’d recommend munching on the ends, but it’s a stale bagel, so unless you like munching on what feels like boiled tire rubber maybe just chuck the ends. 

Crack open an egg or two and whisk it up in a little mixing bowl. Nothing funny here. It’s an egg wash. You try being witty about it.

Heat up a pan with the butter in it. A method I like using is to rub the end of a stick all along the pan to make sure every square centimeter is duly greased. It’s a bit more efficient, if slightly less whimsical, than maneuvering a slice of butter all over like it was a ship lost at a very hot, metallic sea. 

Coat the slices of bagel in the egg wash and then slap ‘em into the pan. The sizzle should be heart warming. Keep ‘em on for a couple minutes on each side until the eggy stuff starts just browning. 

Once plated you should unleash the beast of your imagination. Here’s the fun thing about Bagel French Toast, especially when made with everything bagels, is that you have a lot of base tastes that can be modified in very different ways to fun effect. The saltiness and density of the bagel gives this take on french toasts some heft and character. Amp the savory with butter or bacon, turn up the sweet with syrup and fruit, even a bagel worthy shmear works. 

Here’s what I did: 

So syrup may not have the photogenic character of, say, Eva Green, but from the top, going clockwise, I have blueberries with agave syrup, classic maple syrup, and cream cheese spread in the ugliest possible manner. 

Once you have made your eggy bagel goodness, I leave to you, faithful reader(s?), to follow your destiny. Will you take my advice? Will you forge new paths? Will you decide this recipe isn’t that exciting and just decide to get takeout from that kind of okay looking Thai place but that’s probably not that different from that other one you kind of like but they screwed up your curry that one time and you hold a weird grudge against it so won’t order from it again even though it wasn’t that big a deal but it’s a weird principled thing now? Godspeed on your journey.

-DC

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvwKDRGq2

Well, NYC has been unseasonably warm this winter. Naturally, we will be punished sooner rather than later, as no good thing is ever free, but in the meanwhile we have been able to enjoy light jackets in mid-February. I say, though, that it’s still a phony move to act like it’s spring until it’s spring, so here we are talking about the End-of-Winter Roll, a veggie delight that’s pretty fun to make, too.

Ingredients: 

Tofu

Carrots, sliced thin

Avocado, sliced thin

Rice Paper

Mushrooms, sliced

Soy Sauce

Salt n’ Pepper

Oil

Water

Optional: Sesame Oil

This recipe was taught to me by bro4lyfe Andrei and his lovely lady Guiselt. Unfortunately, I had made too close an acquaintance with the hooch earlier in the evening, so this is, shall we say, a paraphrased edition of the recipe rather than a direct translation. A+G, if this ain’t up to the standard, promise to re-learn less drunk.

Begin this sucker by getting all your ingredients down to slim-to-skinny. They’re gonna have to be all stuck together in a manageably sized roll, so use your spatial reasoning on the appropriate size. Also- did you know they sell pre-sliced vegetables? It’s like a cheat code for the kitchen. 

Prep two pans- one with oil, one with about a half inch of water. The water’s gonna be for the rice paper for later. The oil will be for cooking other stuff in. Or throwing at the enemies storming your gates. Your call.

First up, cook up the ‘shrooms. Get them pretty soft, a couple minutes, and then set aside, preferably under some covering like a bowl so they stay warm. 

Next, in the same pan, put down a few slabs of tofu covered in salt and pepper. I don’t normally cook with tofu. It always seemed like an insecure foodstuff, constantly defining itself, like some petulant high schooler, but what it is alternative to- tofurky, unchicken, prosciuttofu, non-steak, whatever. But I figure no time like the present to expand your horizons. Not like the current horizons are that much to write home about anyway…

My brother is a tofu fiend, and generally he scorches the shit out of this stuff to give it flavor. I don’t dig on burnt taste too much, so I advise a deep brown and, if you’re so inclined, a dollop of sesame oil. It’ll give a nice scorch and will make your curd taste like, well, something. 

Once that’s done and your tofu is in nice, long slices, prepare your ingredients for wrapping. Feng shui the shit out of your prep station. 

Rice paper works as follows- get out a piece of the coffee-filter-like disc, dip it in that warm water you prepped before (oh? Did you forget? That’s cool, I’ll wait…We good? Then let’s get back into it) for a quick second, and then bring it out and lay flat. This stuff is sticky like a glue trap, so be careful. 

Once your papers flat, pile the tofu, shrooms, carrot slices, and avocado all up in there and wrap it up, just like you should do before ever engaging in sexual conduct. I’m sure there’s a grandmaster out there making about a hundred dozen of these things an hour, but for our purposes you get my lackluster skills. If you got problems I suggest your own irregularly updated, infrequently read conceptual food blog.

And boom! There you have it. I made three.

My camera died right after I took this picture, so I couldn’t get a better one. But you’ll notice it’s actually a pretty colorful little dish and, if you got the time and friends, good for group dinners. Pour a little bit of soy sauce and dip to your heart’s content.

So enjoy the end of winter and the beginning of oppressive summer, where the sun boils down and makes the street hot to touch and we all throw trash cans into pizzeria windows. Maybe I’ll start a spinoff called “Weber for One.”  

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvwIUkeDN

Hey e’erybody! Due to the demands of my time mostly devoted to solitary drinking and questioning the reason of my existence, sometimes I get too busy to whip up something fresh and original for y’all. Thankfully, I have a lovely friend by the name of Jason Reif, or Old Man Reif to those who love to make him mad, who sent along his own Sad Tapas. It’s my first foray into the far but not too far East, somewhere around the middle, and it’s quite delicious for any meal of the day. So, I present to thee my attempt to replicate My Old Man’s Green Shakshuka. Hopefully I did it justice, but I doubt it. 

Ingredients: 

Onion

Garlic

Feta Cheez

Eggs

Swiss Chard

Middle Eastern spices, such as Cumin, Red Pepper Flakes, and Paprika

Salt and Pepper

Oil

For starters, pre-heat your oven to 425˚. That’s right people- we doin’ this shit in the OVEN! Also, it took me pressing alt+everything to find where the degree symbol is. For reference, alt+k. The K stands for “degrees,” apparently.

Remove from its sheath, or more likely cupboard, your 10” cast iron skillet. Srsly ppl, you should have one of these. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of pans, except it’s only one thing and won’t be confiscated by the TSA. At least, I don’t think? Anyone had a skillet deemed contraband at airport security? That’d be weird. 

In said skillet heat up dat oil. Finely chop up about half the onion and put it in the skillet. Add your spices, as much as your mouth can handle, to the onion and mix it all in. It should start making your apartment smell better already. 

Once the onion has gotten a bit soft and malleable throw in some finely chopped garlic. Mix it around furiously for another couple minutes, but don’t let it char up and fry. You’ll want your dish to be soft at the end of the day, not like garlicky gravel.

Time to start adding your Swiss chard. Yeah, that’s right, SWISS STUFF IN MIDDLE EASTERN FOOD! CUZ WE DIVERSE UP AT SAD TAPAS! And because it’s a nice green that adds a certain bitterness while retaining a more interesting flavor profile than basic lettuce. You should put it in a bunch at a time, not all at once, so it can wilt down without your skillet looking like it’s sprouted a giant mutant brain.

After about 10 minutes, you should have a nice, green bed on which you wish you could lay except that it’d burn and cook you. Take out two eggs, or more if you’re feeling saucy, and crack them over the bed of green. Keep them yolks in tact! Your aesthetic appreciation will appreciate you later.

Turn off your range and pop that shit in the oven. Let in be for about 8-9 minutes.

Well, congrats, you got 8-9 minutes to kill. What’re you gonna do? I’m gonna look out the window a little bit. Looks like they’re shooting a TV show on my corner. Man, wish I could get some work like that. Sure, it’s raining today, but a bit of steady work to appease some of these bills and overdraft fees would be…

Oh, hey! The oven timer went off. Let’s take a look-see.

Nice. Looks kinda like Oscar the Grouch. As you can see, now’s the time to sprinkle some feta on top and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Let it sit for a little bit so the feta melts a smidgeon and the thing becomes a little cooler to handle. 

After just a moment it’s time to load up your plate. The egg will bond a lot of stuff, so scoop under with a spatula to load up. Whatever’s left just lay around the eggs like you didn’t break it up and you were all slick like when you pull a tablecloth out from underneath a full place setting. 

Oscar looks a little grouchier. Whatever, fuck him. He lives in a garbage can, hence he’s a marginalized member of society. However, this concoction does not belong in a garbage can, as it’s quite delicious and a great way to get some energy on the day. Through the cooking process the chard becomes pretty meaty and dense under the egg, and the garlic and spices give it a kick to wake you up. 

Thanks, Old Man Reif. Hope your psoriasis gets under control. IOU 1 trilby hat. 

-DC

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvwFG_djT

Who’s ready for some PROTEIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!!!!??????? This is a power lunch that takes the very familiar sandwich prototype, raises its middle finger at bread, and brings in some never-to-be chicken babies for a yellow blob sure to give you energy for all day or all night. Omelettes can be tricky due to the lack of tactical deftness the average person has when it comes to flipping hot things out of a pan, but don’t worry- it might not be atractive, but it still has character, just like all of you who take your meals alone. 

Ingredients:

Sliced Turkey

Swiss Cheese 

Lettuce (I used spinach)

Tomato

Eggs

Salt n’ Pepper

Oil or Butter

To start off, don’t use too much of any of the ingredients. They will be the filling for the eggs and, unlike your mom, the eggs can’t take many gigantic things inside of them. 

Let’s begin. Slice up the tomato, lettuce, turkey, and cheese into itty bitty bits. Get out an oily or buttery pan and heat that guy up right. Once Prometheus’ gift has done its job put the turkey, lettuce, and tomato into the pan and cook for just a minute. This is just to get them warm and a bit wilted. Once they good, remove and set aside. 

Now the eggs. I use two, it’s a pretty good amount for one person, but go nuts if you wanna be like Rocky. Crack ‘em with as much style as necessary and put ‘em in a bowl where you may commence the whisking. Forks are fine. Don’t buy into the propaganda Big Whisk is feeding you.

Place your nicely even yellow/white ooze into the pan, re-oiled if necessary. Spread it out so it hits the edges of your pan. Keep that heat as low as Barry White’s voice because this will cook fast. Add some salt n’ pepper.

Once you see a little bit of stiffness around the edges cover the egg disc with the cheese first then your other cooked ingredients on 2/3 of the surface area. Let it sit just a little bit longer and then we get to…dun dun DUN…the flipping of the omelette onto a plate. 

Be prepared to fuck this up! It’s okay. But here’s a basic run down. That extra, uncovered 1/3 of surface? Flip that over itself so you get a straight edge. Now, take the pan and hold it like you’re gonna stab yourself with it instead of your normal grip. Do not stab yourself with it. Rather, just angle it over a plate and scrape at the bottom gently, but let gravity roll the omelette out. Easy to learn, a lifetime to master.  

If you do it decently-ish, my default setting for accomplishments, it’ll come out like this: 

Looks like someone breached the hull of an eggy football. When you open it up it looks like…

…something hideous! But guess what? It’ll taste great and give your mind and body a boost. With all that energy, you can approach what you were doing with renewed vigor! Imagine all the blog reading and whiskey-ing you’ll get accomplished! 

Oh, hey, also, happy 2012 everyone! This is the year we all die one way or another. Either Jesus returns, robots take over, or robots start worshipping Robo-Jesus (resurrected Macbook that was crashed by the Roman or Jew virus, depending on who you ask), who will rapture all the good electronics, leaving us with only broken stereos and four-function calculators. Ferment everything you own and let’s do this year right. 

-DC

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvwEC-IJn

Hey devoted ten of followers! Sorry to have been so absent. Holidays diverted attention away from tumbling. I hope you all enjoyed the saddest of tapas- tupperware Thanksgiving turkey. Nothing quite like the cold leftovers of a warm holiday. 

Now that those leftovers are gone and the cranberry sauce has turned radioactive green, it’s back to the drawing board. This one’s a simple little stir fry that I use mostly as a side, but if you throw it over rice you got a an Asian-inspired meal fit for a peasant. Here’s some sesame broccoli for your munching pleasure. 

Also, I’m doing something a bit uncouth. I’ll be outlining two different ways to make this sucker. Same ingredients each time. The first one will be a git greeeeezier, the second a bit crisper. Really, your decision, but the second one really benefits from having a steamer. Y’know, like those bamboo baskets you can multi-tier? Seriously, they’re fun, and if they’re big enough you can steam sweaters! Save on those dry-cleaning bills, kids. 

Ingredients: 

Broccoli, cut into nice little florets 

Red Pepper, sliced long and thin

Sesame Seeds

…that’s about it. Told you it was simple. 

Not pictured: Sesame Oil, because I’m an idiot and forgot to take it off the shelf in time for the photo.

Optional: Asian Chili Oil 

Option #1- Da Fried One

Heat up a wok or non-stick pan with some sesame oil in it. Oil and pan- hard to make a stir fry without this combo. If you don’t have sesame oil you can use some veggie oil in place of it. Really, just use any oil, I’m in no position to judge you. Just sesame tastes good.

Toss in a helping of sesame seeds with your bushel of broccoli. Saute the hell out of it for a couple minutes, but not too long. It depends on how big you cut your broccoli. Undercooked broccoli has got to be the weirdest misfortune when it hits your taste buds- soft on the outside but cold and hard inside. Kinda like a standoffish puppy. 

Once it’s looking about halfway soft throw in the pepper slices. If you like your stuff with a bit o’ kick I recommend putting in some chili oil about now. Use something a bit more delicate and forgiving than Sriracha. That shit’s like a chili H-bomb. A delicious, delicious H-bomb, but an H-bomb nonetheless.

After not long you have your stir fry. Dump it on a plate on put it in your face.

Option #2- Da Saladier One

Set up a steam station. Put some water in a pan and put the steamer atop it. Get it hot in here.

Put your broccoli all up in there. It’ll take about 10 or so minutes to get good. It’ll probably make your apartment smell like health, too, which is nice. You should get more exercise, probably.

Steam the peppers next. They require less time, only several minutes. They’re forgiving vegetables.

While this happens get a little sesame oil/seed/chili oil mixture going in a bowl. Nothing too much, it’ll be like a dressing. 

Once the steaming’s done, put both the peppers and broccoli into the seeded oil and toss to coat.

You know are the proud owner of a steam-salad. Put it in your face.

Both should look a bit like this. Full disclosure, I made the greezy one.

What’re the benefits to the different ones? Well, the first one will get a bit of char on your stuff and get that nice brown foodiness, and the food will be more intrinsically oily. The second is more like a salad approach, a bit crisper, and will probably give your food a more vibrant hue if you’re into that sorta thing. But guess what? It’s still broccoli, which could be encased in bacon-butter and still be a healthy thing for you. 

Eat up, guys. It’s only so long before you get to go home and have mom cook some Christmas ham for you or whatever the hell it is you gentiles eat. I’m gonna be makin’ sweet love to some latkes. If you’ve already concocted a mental picture of that, sorry. 

-DC

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvwD7OVy7

You are the last man and/or woman on Earth. The rest of the world is gone, society has crumbled, and it is up to you to restore order. What a perfect time to make some food just for you! To keep up your strength when outrunning psychopathic mutants, I recommend a meal rich in omega-3s, which will help in keeping your circulatory system in peak condition and boost your immune system, based on the popular Manwich sloppy joe construction. My play on words is multi-tiered! 

Ingredients: 

Sardines, or Similar Canned Fish

Avocados

Tomatoes 

Bell Pepper

Onion

Garlic

Bread, preference towards Buns

Salt n’ Pepper

Chili Powder

Oil

Okay, let’s get this out of the way right now. Man the hell up about sardines. “Omigod it’s all weird and fishy and blerrrrrgh.” Shut up. You ever actually had them? They taste like the archetypal fish taste- nothing crazy. Get them canned in olive oil or some spicy stuff if you need, but you’d think I’d suggested eating burnt hair based on how people react to the S-word. 

Now that we have that out of the way, on to the recipe! 

None of the veggies should be too too plentiful so as we can maintain balance in the inevitable sloppy joe structure, and they should all be finely cut up. One tin of sardines is only a few ounces, so treat this as you would your fav burger recipe.

Heat up that oil in a skillet on a medium heat, nothing too crazy now. Place your finely diced onion into the pan and let it get soft. Throw the pepper and garlic in next and let the aromas of it all warm your soul.

The sardines can be weird to cut up, I know. But get ‘em down to something crumbly or pasty, depending on how much frustration you wish to release. Throw those in concurrently with your diced tomatoes. If you’re lazy you can also use tomato paste. 

Okay, so you’ve got your ingredients forming a big brown pile in your skillet. Throw on some chili powder, salt, and pepper to taste. Mix it all in and remove from the skillet after not long- sardines are already good to eat. Put your sort of unfortunate looking mess on your bread. 

Yeah, so, the divine creator didn’t make sardines the most aesthetically pleasing color. Whatever, lazy ass spent too much time on the aurora borealis. 

Next, cut up your avocado into slices and then place atop your fish mush. Put another piece of bread atop and enjoy the promise of a better heart and mind. And I’m proud of you for trying sardines- wasn’t so bad, was it? 

This recipe to be remade later as a bitter salad with high-end special effects. Working title: I Am Leg-endive.

-DC

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvwBDRpwR

I’m sick. Nothing too crazy, but enough where my shoulders ache, my throat scratches, and my nose is clogged like the Cross Bronx. It’s the seasonal shift, so you might be sick, too, in which case misery loves Tumblr-based company. Tea is great, honey better, and I’m hounding fruits and veggies. But when it’s time for a health attack, grandma-style, there’s only one thing worth reaching for: chicken soup. Here’s my shot and being my own grandma (ew…). 

Ingredients: 

Chicken Broth

Noodles

Onion

Spinach

Carrots

Celery

Broccoli 

Salt and pepper

Optional: Leftover, Shredded Chicken

I once got some advice that the best thing to do for common colds is to enter what’s called an “alkaline state.” Essentially, it’s all the foods that are easy to digest and aren’t acidic. To do this you have to go ultra-vegan, as dairy, meat, bread, sugar, and just about anything that didn’t grow out of the ground is out of bounds. I adhere to this as much as possible, but, yo, chicken is delicious, right? To amend this recipe to fit that, sub in Veggie Broth and don’t use the optional chicken. Done n’ done. 

Let’s make those noodles! Once you’ve made some of you’re preferred noodly goodness, small sizes are encouraged, set it aside for later. 

Put all that broth and salt n’ pepa into a pot that has a tight fitting lid. Dice up those veggie ingredients and put ‘em all in. Bring it all to a boil and stir things up. 

Make sure you have enough broth to keep your ingredients submerged. Usually those cans of Progresso have about 8 oz. of real liquid, so you can use that as a metric. 

Once it’s all bubbling and tantalizing put a lid on it. Once you’ve successfully quieted yourself put a lid on your pot, too. Reduce to a simmer and wait, we’ll say, like, 10-15 minutes. 

Be patient. Go pound an Emergen-C. Airborne tastes like butt. 

If you want to use that shredded chicken now’s the time to ready it. Uncover your now-developing soup and put in the optional chicken and the mandatory noodles. Stir it all in and cover again for another couple minutes on a simmer. 

Open up that pot and breathe in that lovely steam. Be sure it doesn’t loosen the sinuses too much, as a forbidden ingredient is snot.

Spoon that stuff in a bowl and take a moment to wish your grandma was still there to look after you while you watched cartoons in an oversized t-shirt glad you were missing school on the day of that awful geography bee. Feel better, guys. 

-DC

NB: I realized too late that some cornstarch mixed with water or some bouillon cubes would’ve added a bit of texture and taste. Well, didn’t have those and wasn’t thinking well through my sinuses. Next time, I guess, and please amend your own attempts accordingly. 

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvwAtx5ej

Some ideas are time tested for tasty and are great bases from which to build your own style. Rice and beans may be of the most basic meal assemblages in the world, except maybe salad, but it’s the little touches that add panache and make it your own. For this, we’re hitting the open trails for some cowboy-inspired cooking and making enough to keep an entire wagon train happy. 

Ingredients: 

(All amounts should be listed as “plenty” and prep is “sliced” where applicable)

Chorizo

Red Beans

Onion

Spinach

Garlic

Bell Pepper

Tomato

Oil

Red Pepper Flakes

Oregano

Cilantro

Salt n’ Pepa

Quinoa (cuz I’m healthy!)

It’s a bit of a kitchen sink recipe, and feel free to mutate it how you see fit. This dish is like a neighborhood dive bar- simple and all-inclusive. 

Get some oil hot in a skillet on a medium heat and throw in the red pepper flakes and onion. Keep the heat under control as this beast likes to slow cook. 

Toss in your chorizo and start to get it to turn brown. Your taste buds love brown food, but never black, so keep it under control. 

Next add your peppers and garlic. You can use a garlic press if you want, but have you ever tried cleaning those things? I end up blowing into it to get out the remnants. If there are better ways to clean it please leave me a comment and blow my mind. 

Now’s time to throw in your beans, just be sure to drain them first. That goop is doing no one any favors. 

On top of that throw in your spinach and tomatoes. Leave the tomato in pretty chunky slices. Not only is a big tomato wedge probably the happiest bite you’re bound to take of this dish, it helps add some bright red color that’ll make this a perfect dish with which to entertain Rothko, should that happen. 

Add all the seasonings of cilantro, oregano, salt, and pepper and stir all this in. The dish should be getting bright by now with the red and green of a frontier-flavored Christmas. Sadly, you’ll have to lose your rainbow happiness as you cover the dish and set it to simmer. Be patient, hungry reader. 

Time to make the quinoa. Consult the box for cooking instructions. I’ll wait…

…

…great! About 10-15 minutes should have transpired, so spoon that quinoa into a bowl. 

Now open up that pan and bask in the smokey drama just released. The beans et al should be at a sultry simmer, yeah? Spoon that goodness atop that quinoa and you’re done. Be careful as you eat- it comes out hot and I hear Geronimo is on the war path. 

The bestest part of this endeavor is that you can make however much you want. But since you’re sad, alone, and are not always in the mood to whip up some more Sad Tapas, keep the extra in the fridge. Perfect for late night snacking after some solo rotgut whiskey or for heating up for dinner tomorrow. 

Or, like, make enough for a couple people, I guess. Whatever that means. 

-DC

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvwAW9tit

Here’s a solid snack that has got a lot of good protein and nutrients to help with your heart and mind (thanks, flax seeds!) that also has a rockabilly twinge. God bless you, Mr. Presley- the disgusting fried sandwiches and speedballs you’re enjoying in heaven are your due reward. 

Ingredients: 

Bread, wheaty when possible

Banana

Roasted Flax Seeds

Peanut Butter

Honey

Transform humble slices of bread into toast via toasting the bread. Marvel at the science of heat-related physics and chemistry.

Take out your new toast and spoon a healthy heaping of peanut buttery goodness. Chunky, creamy, let’s not discriminate and use whatever’s around cuz that’s cheap n’ easy. 

Spoon a tablespoon of the roasted flax seeds onto the PB and spread so the seeds intermingle. Honestly, I love these flax goodies toasted, they have a good nutty flavor that goes surprisingly well with everything. I hear chia seeds are the new flax seeds. Whatever- don’t be a culinary Karl Lagerfeld. Chia was for growing grass on a clay cow or ALF statue in my day. 

Slice up a banana and artfully arrange them atop your PB/flax spread. I prefer to set them up to resemble winning craps rolls. 

Drizzle some honey atop for a sweet as well as aesthetically pleasing garnish. I suggest eating open-faced as you get to enjoy more peanut butter mess fun time, but sandwich it up if you need the grasp advantage. 

Lastly, please don’t die on the toilet. It ruins your legacy, no matter how unique and accomplished you may have been in life. 

-DC

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvw9_1Np1

Tacos are pretty cheap already and perfect for snack size. However, if you want something a bit off the beaten path and want to mix it up from chorizo, this is a taco done with familiar Greek flavors that’s good for the veggies. 

Ingredients: 

Tomatoes 

Spinach

Mushrooms

Feta cheese

Red Pepper

Tortilla

Cilantro

Oregano

Salt n’ Pepper

Oil

Optional: Olives, Parmesan Cheese

(Note- for this, all ingredients can be done to taste. For instance, I love me some spinach, but it’s not for everyone. Just include enough feta to bind the ingredients when it gets warm. Amend the amounts as you see fit.

Finely dice the spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, and pepper. Or, get lazy and buy a food processor- they’re like 10 bucks. Mix in with the feta so you have one big happy pile of mush.  

Pour enough oil in your skillet (I stick to a small cast iron for just about everything- fewer pans, less clutter) to coat the base. Put a tortilla into that crackling oil. When the tortilla starts to pop a bit spoon your veggie and feta mix into the center of the tortilla. Throw on your cilantro and oregano.

When the tortilla starts to get a bit crispy fold it in half so you have the ideal, Taco-Bell-Photo-Op worthy shell forming. Let the cheese melt inside and bind all your mush together. Flip the tortilla- if there’s some solid char on one side you’re doing it right. 

Once both sides are charred take it out of the skillet and let it cool. Once you can touch it, eat it (you can sprinkle with some parmesan for an extra bite). Make another one to give to your Greco-Mexican friend, Miguel-Stavros Rodriguezopolis. 

-DC

Permalink: http://tmblr.co/ZOZtvw9iEXJM